Well, i know it's a fluid state, but right at the moment, or for the past few weeks, I feel I've reached a state of acceptance, something which seemed a long way away just a few months ago. As I've alluded to, this is a time of life when Jai is mostly happy, and mostly not frustrated, so believe me, I'm not taking this state for granted. I'm sure there will be lots of times I'll rail at the universe and wish he had a fairer slice of the pie. But right now is pretty good, and if i look back at the end of the year, it seemed like i would never get here, even for a short time.

I look forward to spending time with Jai, I miss him when he's away, i feel hope for his future. I love the times i've already spent with him. And don't dwell too much on "what if's". So.... things have changed, and quickly. So, I'm thankful.

Jai will be part of our family, and a part to treasure. . We will make space for him, be proud of his strengths and accept his flaws. And let him grow and change and colour our family in his own ways.