Jai's spasms started again after a break of 3 and a half weeks. So we started vigabatrin last week. The feared side effect is irreversible loss of peripheral vision, but Prof. L tells us that this is most common in an older age group, and in those on high doses. So we're trusting him (we have little choice in reality, we cannot let Jai regress again like the first time he had spasms). So far, since the vigabatrin started, there have been no fits or spasms, and Jai's been his usual self, touch wood.

We had a short holiday in a farmhouse on the coast for my Dad's 88th birthday, and were joined by my 16 year old son, Noah, who is much loved by my Dad, and who stays with us 8-10 weeks each year. We were worried about the long drive, but Jai did okay, and he enjoyed getting plenty of attention on the trip. I took him into the cool sea for the first time, which didn't impress him at all! But he loved being surrounded by chickens and forest birds, as did we all.

I dreamt that i was looking at gems in a gemstore. I had three in my hands, all of which i wanted to take home. One of them was a ruby, and was cracked. I was examining this one closely, but loved it as much as the others... Not an obscure dream; I have three children.

The dream brought one of my favourite Leonard Cohen songs, Anthem, to mind:

"Ring the bells that still can ring,

Forget your perfect offering,

There is a crack, a crack in everything,

That's how the light gets in."

The birds, they sang At the break of day Start again, I heard them say Don't dwell on what has passed away Or what is yet to be. Yeah, the wars They will be fought again The holy dove She will be caught again Bought and sold and bought again The dove is never free.