I have been feeling overwhelmed, not without reasons. It's not easy to look after 5 people, 3 kids (one of whom is 18, but needs some help getting motivated in life, and 2 young kids), 2 elderly and generically stubborn parents. I have a tough job, where stresses pile up routinely. Recently, for a few months, we had trouble with our marriage. These things are enough. But they have made me tongue tied at work too, less able to engage. less able to find laughter or relief. And the last thing, or last straw, is the fact that I stopped writing in the time when the stress was worst (and when I was busiest). Natural i suppose, especially since this is a (i believe) rarely read blog.

But i also avoid sharing too much bad news with my friends and colleagues// What could i say? Jai's having fits, he's progressing very slowly if at all, that my Mum's difficult to live with, that my brother's a selfish arsehole who refuses to lend any help to my parents despite all they've done for him, that my wife and I don't see eye to eye about how we should live our life... You see, sounds bad, huh? So i need to write, to get these things off my chest. So they don't build up like stagnant water inside me.

So that i can concentrate on the good// that Jai's a beautiful, happy boy, who i love spending time with, that he's started childcare and observing other kids more, that my wife's a good person at heart, and that we spend some nice times together when we get the chance, that my Mum's been saying positive things more than she used to and finally agreed to stop talking about my brother with us, that I'm spending some nice times with Dad and Noah and Uma too, that Uma is amazing and wonderful.

The blogs must start again.. words, and also laughter, music and wine. Cheers to them all!